The last few days have been what they call the battle with your own self. Your mind creating scenarios of what ifs and rehashing the past over and over again. It’s interesting how it is called Rumination. Rumi would probably be amazed at how humans are grinding their heads over and over again on futile subjects instead of using it on something poetic or creative. We are awake in the middle of the night in cold sweat, and pounding heartbeat yet we cannot stop ruminating. We want to eat and chill, but the mind wants to go on its own way into the past or the unknown terrain of the future. We keep holding on to the viscous cycle. It wouldn’t be much of a problem actually if this thought grinding process was just that , thoughts, and they wouldn’t affect you emotionally or physically. That it wouldn’t be associated with fear. That it would be nice and peaceful.

But alas! it doesn’t work that way. Not unless you start practicing some sort of mindfulness or meditation practice.

So yeah that’s what I am thinking about. Is there anything creative coming out of this tiresome rumination process? Or is it just tiring out my mental and physical capacity and in a way, the whole existence?