The last few days have been what they call the battle with your own self. Your mind creating scenarios of what ifs and rehashing the past over and over again. It’s interesting how it is called Rumination. Rumi would probably be amazed at how humans are grinding their heads over and over again on futile subjects instead of using it on something poetic or creative. We are awake in the middle of the night in cold sweat, and pounding heartbeat yet we cannot stop ruminating. We want to eat and chill, but the mind wants to go on its own way into the past or the unknown terrain of the future. We keep holding on to the viscous cycle. It wouldn’t be much of a problem actually if this thought grinding process was just that , thoughts, and they wouldn’t affect you emotionally or physically. That it wouldn’t be associated with fear. That it would be nice and peaceful.

But alas! it doesn’t work that way. Not unless you start practicing some sort of mindfulness or meditation practice.

So yeah that’s what I am thinking about. Is there anything creative coming out of this tiresome rumination process? Or is it just tiring out my mental and physical capacity and in a way, the whole existence?


A reminder that life gets overwhelming at times. Especially after the pandemic, we have been faced by this harsh truth about uncertainty, instability and isolation. But take a moment today to acknowledge the good things in life: maybe it’s your loved ones, or the good food you had, that view outside of your window or your dog. Be kind to yourself and express your gratitude to these little things in life which gives your life meaning despite the craziness around.

I am grateful to the awesome music this beautiful human being named Ichiko Aoba makes. I am so happy that I got recommended her music and we exist in the same time. Her songs fill me joy and peace. Here’s one for you:

The rain of light and shadow by Ichiko Aoba


I moved to a new city almost a year ago. Let me tell you, it has not been an easy journey. I moved right after the Covid craziness started getting a little slower. I moved away from my loved one, my friends and everything that made me feel comfortable.

Signs of spring

The last 10 months have been a journey of trying to put together pieces of this new puzzle in order to make sense of my life here. I know it was my own conscious decision to move here and I am pretty happy with the reason why I made that decision but still in practical sense, things are a little out of place at times. Familiarity is gone, and I am trying make the unknown familiar and to find comfort in little things that brings me the sense of peace.

Moving to the new apartment has helped a great deal though. It is spacious and I don’t have to hear other people’s life sounds all the time. It is tranquil and it is my own space.

Getting used to these spaces that I spend so much time in has been what my daily routine consists of. Finding that perfect nook to read the books, figuring out where to place my record player and speakers so that the sound is perfect, finding out what decor makes my living room more cozy and my bedroom warmer, and adopting new plants and giving them a space so they can share my home, all these little pieces of puzzle makes my life worthwhile.

And I know that this process will go on and on and on…